We all have this idea of what our lives would be like if it was perfect. The homes we would have, the vacations, the cars, money, friends, family, our careers, ALL of the stuff! We know, that if we had our perfect life, then we would be happy. I’d love to believe that I would never be unhappy again if I “had it all”. That we would all be singing “kumbaya” and world peace would be accomplished. However, human beings just aren’t made like that. There are always too many factors that can change the direction of our lives and our happiness. The truth is, that if we are miserable now, there is a very good chance we will be miserable in any situation. That is because happiness is really a state of mind.
Some synonyms of “state of mind” are mentality, attitude, emotions, and feelings. All of those words are things that have to do with happiness, sadness, anger, and more. The easiest way to really work towards obtaining true happiness has nothing to do with your situation. I’ve broken it down into three steps, your perspective, acceptance, and finding yourself.
Your perspective is how you look at things. When you see a glass is it half full or half empty. Do you tend to see the negative side of things on a regular basis? Try to find the silver lining, in all situations. Instead of deciding not to go to the gym because you are overweight and it’s embarrassing. Realize that if anyone is actually paying attention, most of them are thinking, “Wow, good for them!”. You are making an effort and that says more about you than the size of your body.
We may not be living our best lives, but this is our life. We can only control certain things and the rest is out of our hands. We don’t have to lie and say that working a horrible job to put food on the table is so amazing. But we can have an attitude that it’s what we need to do at the moment, so we will do it keeping our heads up high. I was horribly bullied as a kid. I don’t look back on that time and feel hurt. I look back on it and think how far I’ve come, and how much confidence I’ve gained. Acceptance is choosing to make the best of the situation without begrudging it.
You cannot be happy if you don’t love yourself. We all struggle being our own worst critics. We know that we aren’t perfect, that we are far from it. That doesn’t mean we can’t love ourselves. It is so important to realize that we are inadequate…. AND we are perfect. We are never good enough…. AND we are always good enough. We can’t accomplish everything…. AND we can accomplish anything! We are human. Everything about being human is an oxymoron. Dig deep, find out who you really are. Don’t define yourself as being someone’s mom, dad, sister, brother, son, daughter, or partner. You are who you are whether or not those people are around. Find your happiness, find yourself.