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The other side to this conversation is about who is in control. You can accept and validate your own feelings and emotions but not allow them to control you. I used to nanny a little boy who was such a great kid. However, when he got angry, he had a problem with lashing out physically. I would tell him all the time that it was okay to be angry, but it wasn’t ok to hit. As adults we don’t necessarily react in a way that is so cut and dry. However, we still choose to take actions against ourselves and others when we let those emotions get the best of us. It’s a fine line that I still work hard to balance.
1. Address the
I really feel writing things down can remove a lot of the distracting noise that is in our own heads. Keeping a journal to address your emotions is a great way to really shed some light on them. If you are emotional, write down how you feel. I feel sad, because I feel unimportant. I feel alone and isolated. Write what you feel is causing that emotion. Write down how you reacted to that emotion. Doing this is has multiple benefits. When you write down your feelings you are admitting to the emotions instead of burying them. There is a small form of release that comes from that admission. Instead of holding it and allowing it to build up and expand until you explode, you are putting it out there. The other benefit of a journal is to be able to start recognizing patterns and trends in your situation or your behaviors. You have the opportunity to see the bigger picture and look for other ways to react. I don’t say other ways to change your emotions but to change your reactions. Therefore, taking back some control from your emotions.
2. Look for the
Your emotions are there, and they are real. However, your emotions more often than not, do not portray the bigger picture in the situation. If there are actions of another person that have caused those negative emotions, then obviously there is another person’s situation and feeling that are part of that bigger picture. Is that person’s actions based on their own feeling controlling them. Can your reaction to it deflate or inflate the situation more? Try to take a step back from whatever situation that you find yourself struggling with. What is driving that situation?
3. Spend Time on
Your Own Self Care
We all have our emotions, and reaction. We all have times we have handled things well, and when we acted like angry children. When was a time that you took control of your reaction, and overcame emotions controlling you? What strengths have you shown when things were difficult?