There are times when I learn something or realize something big or disturbing or sad. Sometimes when his happens I have had moments that I feel disconnected from it all. I am sitting there trying to figure out what that information means to me and how it should make me feel. The truth is that this kind of reaction is actually a normal one. If you’ve had this kind of situation happen to you, you are not alone. If you have ever been completely confused with how you feel or what you actually want, so have I! There are actual reasons why our minds react in these ways.
Sometimes when our minds choose to stay mute on a subject it is a protection. Whatever it is, might just be too overwhelming. Your mind just isn’t ready to deal with the thoughts and emotions that go along with the situation. It’s almost like the brain shuts down and refuses to address anything on the subject. Have you ever had bad news that you were not sure if you should break to someone? Something they probably should know but you are unsure if they will be able to cope? Sometimes our subconsciously, we can do the same thing to ourselves. We don’t allow ourselves to fully process it so that we don’t have to struggle more. Most of these kinds of moments, for me, were moments that I needed to focus on something tangible. I needed something real and normal, get myself back into a familiar routine. It helps me to stop feeling numb.
Time to Process
The way we process things varies greatly from person to person. However, every single one of us has to process every little thing that goes on around us. My son has autism and the way he processes what people say can convolute the actual meaning behind the words. He has a hard time putting the pieces together. Usually if I repeat what has been said and tell him to take a minute to think it through, he can get a lot closer to the actual meaning. The same can be said for ourselves. We may not be able to tell what we feel because we haven’t had a chance to really process the circumstances. Sometimes we need time to really work it through our thoughts. To think through the pieces and what we feel about each piece.
Turn the Focus to What you Need
There may be lots of different reasons why you are unsure what it is you are feeling. Whatever the reason that you are feeling this way it is important to focus on yourself. Can you figure out what it is that you need? Even if you can’t fully figure out what it is you are feeling, can you name one thing that you need? Don’t focus on the events that precede all the confusion. You can focus on the now and the future. Focus on moving forward. Easier said than done, but practice makes perfect…. well, not perfect. Practice can help improve.